Things I'll Never Say
by rainismysunshine
Summary: It's all over. A new life, a new world. No one knows the difference. But what is this girl really hiding?
1. Tucker and Ann

A/n: fear my new story…muahahahahhahhhahahaha coughs….ah! Can't breathe…….kk…I'm alright now

**Disclaimer: If you have the slowness of mind to think that I own these characters, then I envy you. …..But you should know that Disney Channel and its league of pesky G's are the only people who would make relationships form this slowly. (No, I am not dissing Disney…I'm just saying…)**

Ding-Dong 

"Coming!" yelled the annoyed, twenty-three year old blonde as she quickly walked to and opened the door of her small New York apartment.

"Hey, Ann! Are you ready yet?" questioned her boyfriend of four years. He was tall with long light brown hair and dancing green eyes. He was sweet, but Anne had never really been in love with him. She never reminded herself that, though. She would always brag to her single friends of how amazing Tucker was, and how in love they'd always been. Ann had never admitted it, but half her life had been a lie.

"Ann? Earth to Ann…"

"Sorry Tucker. Just Thinking."

Tucker had learned a lot about Ann himself. For one, she was very secretive about her life before New York. Never mentioned it never let anyone else mention it. Another thing was that she thought a lot. I mean a whole lot. She would never elaborate on her thoughts, and Tucker had learned very early in the relationship not to even ask. Though these thoughts were running through his head, he quickly pushed them out. _'Tonight is the night,'_ he thought,_ 'and I'm not going to let anything ruin it.'_

"Shall we get going?" Tucker questioned kind of jokingly as he offered Ann his right arm.

"Of course," a giggling Ann stated as the couple walked out the door on a much lighter note than earlier, both of them wondering about each other, and both of them wondering about themselves.

A/n: I know…this is a short piece of monkey butt….but I never said you had to read it. HAHA! Corndogs for reviews Longer chapter next!


	2. Landslide

A/n: ooo, shiny…..ah! sry…didn't notice you were there. Here is the chappy….hope it makes you happy! I've also had concerns about how this realtes to potf….do not fret….please just hang on for a few more chapters…..you will definitely see……now…on with the chapter

Ann knew something was up when Tucker had escorted her to an awaiting limo, but she was even more stunned by his choice of restaurant. Da Antonio Ristorante **(real place)** was the nicest restaurant the entire city had to offer. Still in awe, Ann allowed Tucker to open the door for her as they entered the restaurant. As soon as they were seated, the real surprise began.

"Ann," Tucker started nervously, "we've been together for four years now, and I love you with all of my heart. I thought tonight would be the perfect night to ask you," he said, now on one knee, "will you marry me?"

Ann was suddenly struck with a panic attack. _'I can't,_ she thought to herself, _'I love someone else!'_ But as soon as the thought returned to her, so did pain and reality, and without further ado she confidentially said, "Of course! You know I'd love too!" They quickly exchanged a kiss as the entire restaurant began clapping and cheering, but hidden sadness still remained in one person. And as everything began to calm, that one person truly regretted the fact that someone else wasn't slipping that special ring onto her left ring finger.

**A/n: sry…I know I said that this one would be longer…..just bear with me.**


	3. For Closure and Tucker

**A/n: yo! Here's the next chappy.**

Ann could hardly bare it anymore. Her and Tucker had been at this "wedding planning" for three weeks, and the only thing they had accomplished were arguments.

"What we need is-"

"Ann, what we really need is to get your mother involved in this!"

"I can't Tuck! You have to trust me on this!"

"Ann, this is the end of the argument! GO SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER!"

"Fine. I'll go," Ann said, defeated. She didn't wish to go back to those memories, but it looked as if she had no choice. She quickly ran to her bedroom, and threw a few things in a suitcase. She was almost out the door when-

"Ann, I'm sorry, but we really need some more help in this, and I only have one parent to contribute."

"Whatever," Ann said coldly, "I'll be back sometime, a week…maybe two. See you around Tuck." With that, she made her dramatic exit as she got into her black Thunderbird and left. Tucker watched her slowly fade into the distance. He just didn't get it. What was she always so upset about? Was there something that he didn't know?

"And why," he wondered aloud, "did she act so stubborn about her mother. Wasn't her mother with her all through high school, and some during college? I could've sworn I'd seen her." But, you see, that was where Tucker White was wrong; very, very wrong.

Meanwhile:

After a long six and a half days of drive, Ann was finally coming to some familiarity. The thoughts and memories sickened her. She didn't want anything to do with these people, this city, even this state! When she finally reached her designated stop, she slowly got out of her car and loomed at the building ahead.

"For closure, and Tucker," she said to herself reassuringly.


	4. Fallen

A/n: hello….next chappy here…the thing in _italics_ is a song 

Ann sighed again as she slowly and hesitantly approached the door of the large and looming building ahead. As she reached the door, she timidly and quickly hit the doorbell and listened for the familiar echo of it through the house. After waiting for a long minute and a half, Ann slowly turned away from the door, part joyful that she didn't have to face her past, part devastated with worry of those who once lived in the house. As she slowly walked down the old concrete steps, a mumbling voice from within the house disrupted her thought. Ann quickly turned as the door opened, and a petite woman with blonde hair and an early-aging face stepped outside. Her face looked to have a permanent look of worry, and, by the size of the bags under her eyes, she hadn't gotten much sleep in at least two years. She stood on the doorstep for what seemed like hours, almost studying Ann's features and actions.

"How may I help you?" she finally stated politely.

"Well….uh…I um-"

"Wait a minute…oh my gosh!" the women stuttered faintly, looking like she couldn't believe the person standing in front of her. "My baby, she's home!" When the women started rushed towards Ann with open arms, Ann decided that this was the point where she got to business.

"Mom," she said firmly, "let's get to the basics here. I would like to be in this dreaded city for as little time as possible." Ann's mother paused for a moment, staring at Ann with the deepest of sadness in her eyes. When Ann first saw those tears began to well, she felt a pang of guilt, but it quickly left. All the things that had happened to Ann had hardened her, and guilt didn't seem to bother her much anymore.

"Fine then," her mother said as her politeness returned, "let's go in, shall we?"

"Of course," Ann replies. This was exactly what she wanted: help from her mother, no hugs, no "where have you been's; at last, just a little wedding help. Once mother and daughter were daintily on the couch, Ann's mother, Mandy, decided to break the ice.

"So what is it that you needed to discuss with me?" she asked politely. Mandy knew it wasn't going to answer her true question, but she knew she had to start somewhere.

"Well," Ann began, the pang of guilt returning to her, "for one, I'm getting married, and I need a little help with the wedding arrangements. Secondly, I need to retrieve a few items that I left behind when I moved." Ann stated with almost no emotion, but even though it was hard to tell, her pang of guilt had begun to overwhelm her. "Lastly," she said quietly, a small tear rolling down her cheek, "I'm sorry that I left mom; so sorry." By the time she had managed to let her apology, she was choking on her own sobs, while her mother desperately tried to comfort her.

**Though I've tried**

_**I've fallen **_

_**I have sunk so low**_

_**I've messed up better I should know**_

_**So don't come round here**_

**And tell me I told you so**

"There, there dear. It's okay. You're back, and that is all that matters. It's going to be okay. Everything will be just fine." Mandy continued to comfort her sobbing daughter for at least an hour, until Ann was finally able to regain control over her emotion and dried her many tears.

"Honey," her mother stated firmly, "I'm really glad that you're home, but I think that there is someone else who would really like to see you."

So with a hug and a kiss from Mandy, a promise to return, and a small, neatly printed address on a Post-It, Ann set off to another form of memories and apology.

**A/n: please review! Fun reviews! Yay! The song in this story is called Fallen by Sarah McLachlen**


	5. Jennifer

**A/n: here is an update**.

Ann quickly drove the two-and-a-half blocks to another well-known house. She was still thinking about what she would say to this dear friend after deserting them so many years ago. Ann was still trying to grasp the fact that she had actually gone against her vow to herself at sixteen years old to never set foot in this small pathetic town again, for she decided that life moves on. Before she realized it, she was already at the door of a huge, luxurious house looming above, her small, shaking finger slightly touching the brightly colored bell as the familiar sound moved through the house like a haunting ghost. Ann sighed. 'Here it comes..' she thought just as the door opened and a short, black haired Asian girl emerged with a confused expression changing the lines that Ann so greatly knew along her face. Ann stared at one of her old best friends as memories and sadness flooded her mind, and overflowing her with depression.

"May I help you?" her friend said questioningly.

Quickly snapping out of her thoughts and back into reality, Ann recited the speech that she had sloppily come up with on the way to this destination.

"Yes," she said, "my name is Ann and I'm a friend of Ms. Teslow, who recommended I ask to stay here for a few nights."

"Sure," the girl said spontaneously, obviously fearless of any threat that Ann could offer, "How long are you planning to stay?"

How long? Ann hadn't considered this part of the situation.

"Uh…," she stuttered, "maybe about a week or two, if that's all right?"

"Of course!" jumped the preppy Asian happily. "Oh, and by the way, I'm Jennifer," she stated calmly.

"Oh," Ann said with a sort of high-pitched squeakiness in her voice. She didn't think that her closest girl friend would've had the same idea about using her middle name, but Ann figured she'd play along. "I'm Ann," she said, suddenly shy.

"Well, nice to meet chya Ann," she said happily, "come right on in."

As Ann entered the all too familiar house, she had to note that many things had not changed since she left. Jennifer led Ann upstairs to what Ann remembered to be Jen's old room.

"You can bunk with me if ya want," Jennifer said cheerily.

"Sure," Ann replied. She was just getting settled in when she saw it. A very painful picture that had always seemed to haunt her memory, and it was sitting directly in front of it. Jennifer noticed her new roomie staring in horror at what Jennifer considered to be the last picture she had of her old friends, whom all moved away. Making a quick move across the room, Jennifer rushed to explain.

"See," Jen said sadly pointing to a sixteen year old smiling blond with bright, glowing blue eyes standing next to a cute chocolate-eyed boy with deep brown hair and a goofy grin, "Those were my two best friends a few years back. The boy moved away extremely suddenly. The girl disappeared the day afterwards. No one has ever seen or heard from her since, but you look a lot like her, Ann."

A twinge of guilt pulled at Ann. She didn't care if she blew her cover anymore, but there was one thing that she had to know.

"Jennifer," Ann asked slowly, "How did you know that the boy moved away?"

Jennifer got a strange vibe about the question, but shook the feeling off and answered her roomie anyways.

"Well," she started, pulling an older looking envelope out of her bedside drawer, "he told me that he couldn't bear to cause her any pain, so to give her this letter and tell her that he loved her, very very much."

Ann couldn't stand playing games anymore. She only wanted to see the letter that Phil had left her seven years ago.

"Tia," Keely Ann Teslow said boldly to Tia Jennifer Andrews, "can I see the letter now?"

**a/n: I need to go to bed…so I'm gunna cut it off there…I'm sorry it sucked. I'll try to make the next chappy better.**


	6. The Letter

A/n: wow….IF YA'LL DON'T START REVIEWING I'M NOT GUNNA UPDATE!

**And don't you wanna find out the best part of the story coming up in a few chappies……..**

**KLmitten: thanx for da review…updates are here!**

_Flashback 7 years ago (Keely is 16):_

He wasn't at school, and he hadn't called her in a week and Keely was beginning to worry. Where could he be?

_I needed the world_

_I just needed someone to talk to_

_I felt so alone_

_Left out in the cold_

_I thought about life_

_And prayed I'd be given_

_Something to help me_

_Make it through each day_

After a while she managed to convince herself that his absence had nothing to do with his "secret." He would have told her, wouldn't he?

God sent me an angel 

_And He listened so true_

_I know there's an angel_

_And that angel is you_

_But the ever-changing_

_World that we know_

_Can take up my angel_

_And leave me alone_

After school, Keely decided that he was probably ill, so she stopped by the local drug store, got him a card, and quickly filled it out.

Dear Phil,

Hope you get well soon.

Xoxo,

Keely 

_I knocked on your window_

_And I opened your door_

_I found out the shocking truth_

_I cried once more_

_I felt so empty_

_I couldn't believe_

_That my God- sent angel_

_Just had to leave_

As Keely pulled up into his driveway, she saw that the house looked dark.

"Odd.." she thought aloud, wondering if they'd gone on vacation or something…but wouldn't Phil have told her?

She went to the front door to where the spare key always set, under the right corner of the welcome mat. As Keely turned the doorknob, and took a small step in, she realized that her worst fears were now confirmed.

_God sent me an angel_

_He listened so true_

I know there's an angel 

_And that angel is you_

_But the ever-changing_

_World that we know_

_Can take up my angel_

_And leave me alone_

Keely couldn't bear the thought, so she ran. She ran as far and as fast as her legs would carry her. She left everything behind; her family, friends, hobbies, and even her name, but running from her problems didn't keep them resurfacing, which they often did.

_Life goes on _

_But I can't see clearly_

_I try to forget about my baby_

_But love has a special way within me_

_Always bringin me down, to the ground_

_Remindin me of what was taken away_

The police investigated it, tried to track her down. They did everything they could, but "Keely" was never seen again.

_God sent me an angel_

_He listened so true_

_I know theres an angel_

_And that angel is you_

_But the ever-changing_

_World that we know_

_Can take up my angel_

_And leave me alone_

END FLASHBACK 

Tia just stared at Keely blankly, in a dead shock of surprise, happiness, and anger all bunched together, but despite her emotions and longing to catch up with her long-lost best friend, Tia did what she knew she had to do: handed Keely the letter. Keely fingered it curiously before carefully slitting the top with her long, blue nails and taking out the old yellowed paper.

Dear Keely,

You probably won't see this letter until it's too late, but I'm sorry. I have to leave tonight, and I didn't want to have to break your heart with goodbyes. Keely, you are an extraordinary person, and I'm sure there are many people who would make way better friends than I would, so go out there and explore. Follow your dreams. Don't feel confined. I will never forget you Keely Teslow, in all my life, but I want you to forget me. Please do that for a good-bye gift. Live life. Don't dwell on what has happened. I'll miss you.

Xoxo,

Phil

Keely read the letter for the eighth time, as she felt warm water droplets roll down her cheeks and land softly on the yellowed paper. Tia fought back her own tears to be a good friend at the moment. She decided that her wild emotions could wait, but Keely needed her now.

Keely saw Tia approaching and reached out to hug her as both girls burst into tears, not quite knowing what to think of the world that had turned its back on them.

---------------------------------Two Days Later-------------------------------------------------------

"So you're engaged?" Tia asked her best friend with fascination. "What's it like?"

"Uh…" Keely stuttered, looking for an answer, "it's like being engaged?"

"Well duh," Tia commented sarcastically before laughing at her friend's lame description. After laughing for at least ten minutes, Keely's eyes suddenly went serious as she began to truly answer Tia.

"It's not all it's worked up to be. You have to make a lot of decisions, and you get in many quarrels with your spouse-to-be."

"Oh," Tia said quietly, "but isn't great to know that someone loves you that much?"

Keely longed to tell Tia the truth. She wasn't truly in love with Tuck, but she knew that they were destined to be together, and she had no choice in the matter. Keely's thoughts were cut off by a techno-sounding Green Day song coming from her unzipped, black purse.

"That must be Tuck now," she said strangely, with a fake smile plastered on her face, "I'll be right back Tee."

Keely walked into the hallway and quickly hit the talk button:

Keely: Hello?

Tucker: Hey Anni…it's Tuck.

Keely: Oh, hey Tuck. What's up?

Tucker: When are you going to be home, An-

Keely: I'd prefer to be called Keely now thank you.

Tucker: Keely?

Keely: I'll explain later… How soon do you need me home?

Tucker: Uh… now…

Keely: All right, I'll be there in like a day. Bye.

Tucker: Love you…

Keely: Good-bye.

Keely quickly hit the end button before Tucker had a chance to get into the whole love thing. She couldn't believe that in about a week she'd be getting married to someone that she couldn't even say; "I love you," to without being a liar. Keely slowly sighed and went to tell Tee that she needed to go on back to New York.

"Your welcome to come to the wedding," Keely finished as she hugged her friend good-bye.

"I wouldn't miss it, Keels."

Keely slightly cringed at the old nickname, but tried to act as normal as possible.

"Bye," she stated finally to Tia as she ducked into her car and drove back towards New York with a burden lifted off her shoulders, but a new one place in the deepest pocket of her purse; a yellowed letter with an envelope stating:

TO: KEELS 

**A/N: DUDES, I KNOW THAT ONE really SUCKED…BUT NEXT CHAPPY WILL BE THE ONE WHERE THINGS START GETTING GOOD, SO PLEASE GIVE IT A TRY…..PILLOWS FOR REVIEWERS!**


	7. Dreams Last For So Long

A/n: I think I'll try to make a comeback! Lol…but only for this story. I felt really bad for not finishing it. I have started a new story…and yes, I'll update that one periodically, but alas…it is not in the POTF section but rather in the fma section. If you do not know ANYTHING about Fullmetal Alchemist (fma) I don't suggest attempting to read it…lol…anyways…I believe I owe you guys a few more chapters now don't I?

**Heresa wesa gosa!**

_I hear the clock, it's six a.m.  
I feel so far from where I've been  
I got my eggs and my pancakes too  
I got my maple syrup, everything but you.  
I break the yolks, make a smiley face  
I kinda like it in my brand new place  
I wipe the spots off the mirror  
Don't leave the keys in the door  
Never put wet towels on the floor anymore' cause_

As Keely sped down an old back road, bringing her long drive to New York City to a close, she thought about the words Phil had written in the letter.

"…fulfill your dreams…forget about me"

"Real dreams are only temporary," Keely thought aloud, "but my dreams of you will always remain…"

_Dreams last for so long  
even after you're gone  
I know you love me  
And soon you will see  
You were meant for me  
And I was meant for you._

A single tear slid down Keely's cheek as she made a quick decision. Instead of continuing strait to reach New York City, she took a sharp turn down another old and lonely road. She continued driving for about an hour or so before large, purplish mountains were hover high above her. Keely continued driving up the steep mountain road until the top was in near site and the road had ended. She ditched her car on a dirt dusted road shoulder and continued her "mountain hike" on foot. About half an hour later she reached the top, just in time to see the sun setting beyond the grayish clouds. No longer caring about her appearance, she let her hair down and lay back onto the dirt-covered peak. Darkness quickly consumed the area as fireflies joined the stars in their attempt to sparkle in the night sky. Everything was peaceful and beautiful, everything that is except Keely's heart. No matter how well she had seemed to hold herself together, inside she was always weeping; always hoping. She knew there really was no way to cure the pain. He had left a hole too big to fill and no one truly understood how much it hurt her. As Keely's mind became consumed with thoughts and memories, the sky became alight with a flash of shooting stars. Keely put aside her thoughts to gasp in awe. It had been the first time in seven years that she had truly smiled from the depths of her heart. The show ended quickly as the stars did their jig across the open sky, but it truly burned happiness into the twenty-three-year old. It gave her back a little of the childhood that had been taken away far too early. Taken away by him.

_I called my momma, she was out for a walk  
Consoled a cup of coffee but it didn't wanna talk  
So I picked up a paper, it was more bad news  
More hearts being broken or people being used  
Put on my coat in the pouring rain  
I saw a movie it just wasn't the same  
'Cause it was happy and I was sad  
It made me miss you oh so bad 'cause_

_Dreams last for so long  
Even after you're gone  
I know you love me  
And soon you will see  
You were meant for me  
And I was meant for you._

Keely slowly sighed. She felt her eyelids becoming heavier and realized how tired she truly was. Unfortunately for those awaiting a swift arrival, Keely chose to, if only for one night, let the stars be her nightlight and the dirt, her bed.

_go about my business, I'm doin fine  
Besides what would I say if I had you on the line  
Same old story, not much to say  
Hearts are broken, everyday.  
I brush my teeth and put the cap back on  
I know you hate it when I leave the light on  
I pick a book up. Turn the sheets down.  
Take a deep breath and a good look around  
Put on my pjs and hop into bed  
I'm half alive but I feel mostly dead  
I try and tell myself it'll be all right  
I just shouldn't think anymore tonight 'cause_

_Dreams last for so long  
Even after you're gone  
I know you love me  
And soon I know you will see  
You were meant for me  
And I was meant for you_

A/n: I know…not a good chapter….actually probably the worst I've ever done… but I am a little rusty…hopefully the next one will be better! Hope you liked! I'll be updating a lot because I'm so ready to write the good chapters in this story. Lol…REVIEW IF YOU CAN!


	8. Distant

**A/n: gosh I'm so dang determined to finish this story…even if it's the last thing I do!**

Keely's eyes slowly opened to the sound of a revving engine.

"Where am I?" she wonder aloud, still trying to uncover the many events of the previous day. Seconds later she bolted up, immediately remembering where she was. The revving engine noises continued to fill her ears as she quickly turned her head in all directions, eyes shining with pure curiosity. There, out of the corner of her eye, she saw an approaching man. He looked to some familiarly, but Keely's mind was still resting.

"Phil…?" she called out hopefully as she tried to rub the sleep from her eyes.

Tucker stared at Ann nervously. "Who?" he replied simply as he picked his fiancé up off the ground. Keely once again yawned and waited for the explanation to come to her slowly waking mind. Tucker carried her to his truck and opened the door before setting her gently into the passenger seat. Keely stared into space carelessly as Tucker climbed into his side of the truck and started the engine.

"What were you doing out there? Everyone was really worried about you! You could've been kidnapped or rolled off the cliff or-" Tucker stopped when he realized Keely had been totally ignoring every word he'd been saying. "Ann," he asked sympathetically, "what's wrong?"

Keely's eyes were distant and her response automatic. "There's so much...that you need to know…"

Tucker pulled to the side of the rode and cut the engine, giving Keely his full attention. "Such as…?" He asked softly as curiosity began to overpower him.

The sudden jerk of the stopping car had awakened Keely from her thoughts and she realized what had just happened. "It's nothing!" she said as her smile returned and her cheeks became rosy again. No one could ever know of the mask she hid behind. No one…

Tucker's eyes lit up when he saw Ann's reaction. "I'm glad…I was really worried with you staying up on that mountain all night. I had no idea where you were…good thing I found you this morning."

Keely smiled again. She found herself at a loss for words. The emotions building up inside of her were too much to bear. She couldn't understand what she was feeling; she couldn't explain it. In all reality, she knew what the feelings were. They had haunted her for quite some time, but she always pushed them away. The false hope, love, and sadness that once overpowered her were now locked deep inside. Keely hoped that once she buried it, it would all go away. She still wouldn't admit that she'd been wrong.

Tucker slowly pulled up in front of the small apartment the two had been sharing for three years now. He sighed before slowly glancing at Keely. "If you ever need to say something, Ann, you know I'm willing to listen…"

Keely nodded, but deep down she knew it wasn't true. She couldn't tell him. She couldn't tell anyone. She had promised and she'd take that secret to her very grave, even if the one who had asked her to keep it had abandoned her. _' I'll stick to my word. I won't be like him…'_

**A/n: Sry…. I know that wasn't too good, but you try to write a potf story when you have ed, al, Roy, Riza, winry, pinako, Russell, Fletcher, Ross, broch, Hughes, Trisha, cornello (lol), Nina, tucker, Armstrong, fuery, havoc, falman, breda, psiren, scar, random dead people, ishbalans, kimbley (THANK GOODNESS HE'S DEAD!), Barry the chopper (I swear he's bi), greed, gluttony, lust (SHE DIES!), envy (boo…stupid character killer hoenheim's son with Dante before they body hopped…), wrath (shut him up), pride/ king Bradley (how many times must I kill you…before you die….), sloth (GOSH SHE TOOK ONE A HALF FRIGGEN EPIS TO DIE! Thank goodness for ethanol), rose (grrr….), Dante (SHE THINKS SHE TASTES SO GOOD….), Hoenheim of Light (haha…open the gate within yourself, Edward. That is how you'll get home…), IZUMI! (lol…oh yeah…), Sig, MARTA! (I cried when she died), Schiezka, uhm…EVERYONE ELSE I FORGOT! and cos…like Noa, Al H., and all the peeps I don't know yet!…. AND THE VOICE ACTORS/ ACTRESSES! Like Vic! (Lol…good times.), and Travis! (Roy mustang!), and Caitlen Glass (lol…winry you slut!), and Aaron (SO KUWAII!), and uhm…sigh…. LAURA BAILEY! (Yeah…lol…go lust!), uhm….AND EVERYONE I DON'T KNOW! AND ED! AGAIN! Lol…sry…I had a moment…anywayz, I hope you liked it…Ed wasn't in it…and neither was-**

**-Two Hours Later-**

**so…now do you get my picture…?**

**Lol…**


	9. I Just Can't Shake This Feeling

((A/n: Hi everyone! Hope you like this second to last chappie. DISCLAIMER: I DONT OWN POTF, YO!))

Two Weeks Later

Keely waited alone in her dressing room; tears staining her face. This was supposed to be the best day of her life! A wedding is something that one remembers throughout eternity as the day they were forever bonded with the person that they wanted more than anything. It was the day that started a new chapter; one that would become your new life. It was almost a cleansing of teenage years and "hot guys" and a maturing to the stage of knowing and loving one being. This day was day that was never to be forgotten, but the tears rolling down Keely's cheeks were not of happiness. She was miserable; literally drowning in her pain. She knew she had to do this, but the empty smile she gave told of her shattered heart. It wasn't that Tucker was a bad person. In fact, he was one of the most considerate and loving she'd ever met, but she didn't love him like this. She didn't feel a true passion between them. She couldn't imagine herself in his arms forever. She shuddered as her mind finally acknowledged that her whole life was about to become a preformance. She would never truly be happy, and there was no escaping it because, when it came down to the absolute and open truth, Tucker was not Phil. No one was, and no one could ever in a million years replace what she had felt for him. Because of this, Keely knew that no matter where she turned, she'd be alone.

The blond sighed as she searched the room for something to occupy her boggled mind. In the corner of the small room she saw the cardboard box her mother had given her last time she went home. Having nothing better to do, she found a pair of scissors and removed the tape. As the old lid opened, Keely could actually sense the sweet aroma of what used to be. She sighed as the happy days filled her thoughts and she began top shift through the box. The main items were old photos of friends and family that had been in Keely's room. She sighed and removed the last picture frame, her hope of finding anything iunteresting beginning to evaporate. That's when she saw it. A small pink journal lay at the bottom of the box, faded cover and yellow pages giving Keely an easy guess at its age. Keely fumbled to find the key as her unstable hands slowly lifted it to the seemingly awaiting lock and slowly opened to the first page.

Keely scanned through the pages for what seemed like hours, finding millions of awesome memories of the past. She chuckled as she allowed the adrenaline rush of every page flow through her seemingly lifeless body and warm her. She had almost forgotten all of the amazing adventures that she and Phil had had together and all of the fun moments that she and the Diffys had shared. Sighing loudly, she turned yet another page to see the words of a poem staring back at her.

"Funny..." she thought alound, "when was this written?" Keely scanned the page quickly, her happy look quickly turning to one of pure panic and horror.She set the diary down in an attempt to catch her breath, but found that the room seemed to suffocate her. Without even thinking about it, she jumped to her feet and ran out the door. She had to get out of this place. She couldn't do this.

Tucker ran with all of his strength to his fiance's room. The wedding was to start in only five minutes and she hadn't been seen in at least three hours. Fearing she had run off again, he urgently tapped on her door, calling out her name repeatedly. Recieving no answer, he desperately opened the door to find the room quiet and tidy except for a pile of photographs. Tucker sighed and decided to look elsewhere. As he turned to leave, a small notebook laying on the ground caught his eye. He eyed it carefully, figuring that it was a diary. Not wanting to invade his wife-to-be's privacy but hoping that the journal would give him a good idea to where she went, Tucker slowly picked it up and began to read the page that was marked, where a sort poem was written.

_And when I think of myself in his arms_

_Its so beautiful that I want to cry_

_So let the sky swallow me whole_

_Let me fly until I reach him_

_I can't hold these feelings inside any longer_

_There's someone I need to be with_

_I'm sorry to be out of character_

_But showing these emotions feels so right_

_He feels so right_

_He's the missing piece of my life's puzzle_

_And I'll wait for him forever_

Tucker read aloud before gazing at the entry date. 'That's odd...' he thought to himself as he saw that the poem had been composed the day before Keely had moved to New York.

Keely ceased her running and fell to the ground in messy sobs. It was just so hard to give him up. Phil was the first and only person she'd ever loved, and Keely couldn't bear to lose all of the hopes, promises, laughs, memories...life that she'd shared with him. She held it all so close to her. Phil alone was the only person who could change her mind, linger in her thoughts, haunt her dreams, and even drive her mad. He just had the ability. His effect on Keely was uncanny. She knew she wouldn't be able to resist herself if he were to return and she were already married, and she didn't want to hurt Tucker like that. She knew what she had to do though. She slowly brought herself to a standing point and brished the grass and dirt off of her elaborate and flowing whit gown. She decided right then and there to stop listening to her heart and soul and to let her mind take over. 'He's not returning...' she thought to herself nonchantily, 'Give it up and get on with your life.' And with that thought said, she finally wiped the tears from her face and forced a smile.

Tucker looked up to see his fiance begin to slowly make her way over the hill in the distance. He ran to her like a small child, a bright smile spreading across his face.

"KEELY!" he called out joyously. "OH I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE OKAY!" he finished, smothering her with an affectionate hug. Keely continued to forge her smile as she lightly returned the embrace.

"Sorry..." she muttered simply as Tucker took her hand and began to slowly lead her back to the chapel.

"You don't have to apoligize for something you didn't do..." he said sincerely, looking her strait in the eyes. Keely smiled at him and thought that maybe this life would turn out okay. Quickly, they finished walking to the church and Tucker said a small goodbye before heading to the front of the alter. Keely sighed as she stayed behind, waiting for her cue. Her heart began to beat faster and faster as she saw Tucker and her family and friends gathered together in the church. Keely knew she had to do this, but she was so scared. She looked around the room to searching for comfort, but none was found. Finally, the music cuing the blond bride began to majestically play. Keely felt as if her body had been taken over by someone else as her feet took each step down the short isle. Keely took a deep breath as she found herself standing in front of an elderly priest. She knew this was it.

"Do you, Tucker Carrington take Keely Ann Teslow as your lawfully wedded wife? In sickness and in health til death do you part?"

"I do..." Tucker said calmly as he gave Keely a small smile. She knew his good intentions and she wasn't about to screw this up. The priest slowly turned his attention to Keely.

"And do you, Keely Ann Teslow, take Tucker Carrington to be your lawfully wedded husband in sickness and in health, til death do you part?"

Keely blinked back the hot tears that began to well up in her eyes as a million hopes and dreams shattered in her heart. "I...do..." she choked out softly. The priest smiled at the two of them, glad he had bonded another two lovers. Keely couldn't believe it was over. She almost hated herself for doing it, but she knew it had to be done. "Any objections?" the priest asked eyeing the church wearily for a wedding crasher. 'Please...' Keely begged to herself, 'Someone...anyone...free me...' but the room remained silent. The priest gave a large smile to the crowd. "Good...I now pron-"

The priest found himself interupted by the forceful opening of the church doors and the wide-eyed young man who entered them.

"WAIT!" he called out desperately. "I OBJECT! I OBJECT!"

((A/n: Now...here's the dealie...school is starting soon and I have a lot of things going on in my family. Plus, the movie premier is only 13 DAYS AWAY BABY! so naturally, I want at least a few reviews or I wont post the last chapter. ITS EQUIVALENT EXCHANGE, YO! ))


	10. Author's Note

**Authors Note:** I'm extremely sorry that I haven't been working on this story, but many things have been occurring in my life lately. I have been thinking and trying to write the next chapter (s) and they will come soon.


	11. Author's Note the Second

A/N: *blows the dust off this story* ACK! IT'S OLD! Does anyone still read this? If so, shoot me a review or pm, and I'll work my arse off to give you guys an update! ^^


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